Two Wrong Ways To Pray [Part 1/2]

It is possible to pray wrong. If you've ever heard someone pray over 3 minutes before a family dinner, you know this is true. Prayer may seem like a matter where any attempt is a good attempt, but the words of Jesus indicate differently. Since prayer is a vital component for a Christian's faith, it scares me that we might be praying wrong. Thankfully, Jesus gives clear direction on how we ought and ought not to pray. 

1. Do not pray to be seen by others

"And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret." (Matthew 6:5)

An indicator of praying wrong like this is if your most intimate and passionate prayers are in front of others. If you are praying on stage, in groups or in front of people more than you pray in secret, you may have fallen into this trap--praying to look good in front of people. Staying faithful and intimate with the LORD in secrecy does not bring the accolades of praying in front of hundreds or thousands of people. Nobody will compliment you as the "Man of God" or be moved by your display of reverence. 

Your balance between praying in public and praying in secret reveals your true motives. Resist the temptation to make your faith about what happens in public. 

2. Do not heap up empty phrases

"And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." (Matthew 6)

I often see people praying out of fear. Cowering, muttering words under breath, and having little confidence their prayers are making any difference in the heart of God. Because of this, people attempt to find prayer loopholes or passwords (the right words or techniques) to unlock the heart of God. People may feel confidence in praying a certain way, rocking back and forth, raising a voice, or declaring certain Christian buzz words. Please consider that sounding and looking powerful in prayer does not guarantee you are praying powerfully. 

1 John 5:14 says, "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us." 

God isn't moved by our efforts. God is moved by His love. We aren't heard in prayer because we say impressive amounts of the right words, but because Jesus has connected us to the Father. His love us made the way for us to connect with Him boldly. An indicator you've fallen in this trap is if you perceive others to be less effective in prayer because they aren't using your certain technique. Display your heart to God, not your techniques.  

Conclusion:

Jesus is very clear on how we ought not to pray. Avoid these traps by making connecting with God your priority--not looking good in front of people, or impressing God with our efforts.

Next week, I will showcase the instructions Jesus gives us on how we ought to pray. 

Question: Are you praying more in front of people or in secret?

An Easy Way To Help Your Pastor

My most insecure moment as a Pastor is immediately after preaching. Even though my main preaching objective is articulating what I sense the LORD saying, I often find myself asking, "Did my message connect? Did I totally screw up my sermon? Was my zipper down that whole time?" 

"Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up."  

Proverbs 12:25

Having a group of people watching, processing and criticizing every word you say is stressful--especially when people's lives are on the line. Yes, most of us preachers have spent a lot of time on stage, but we are still human and have insecurities. Thankfully, there are people who encourage me immediately after preaching. Hearing an uplifting word after speaking means the world to me, and I'm sure it will for your pastor too. A positive word lets Pastors know their efforts are not wasted. 

I encourage you to encourage your pastor immediately after every sermon. 

This small gesture will produce strength, passion and motivation for future ministry. If you want to effectively encourage your pastor, follow these 6 simple tips.

6 Tips to Help Encourage your Pastor After Preaching

1. Encourage Immediately

The moment right after speaking is the most insecure. Approach your Pastor as soon as you can to say something kind. Encouragement a week later is good, but immediately is better if you want to neutralize the "insecure moment."

2. Send a Personal Message

Put your encouragement in a text message, email, card or on a piece of paper. I still read notes people gave me 10 years ago. Something as permanent as a written message will uplift your Pastor for years. 

3. Say Something Specific

After a sermon, people tell me, "Good job." Almost always, I then ask, "How did God use this message to impact you?" I want to know the specific parts of the message or delivery that caused it to be good. Find a quote, story or joke you found particularly exceptional and let your pastor know. 

4. Quote Your Pastor On Social Media

Once you have a quote, put it on Social media and tag your pastor. Even better if you incorporate the Pastor's quote with an original picture! I look forward to reading these every week. 

5. Share Transformation Stories

If God did something in your life or someone else's, please let your Pastors know! Most people got into the ministry because they want to see lives changing, so let them know it's happening. Pass on the testimonies. Don't assume the Pastor has heard any good reports. 

6. Save Constructive Criticism for Later

Growing as a preacher is one of my main focuses in life. Feedback is my friend, but only after a minimum of 12 hours after preaching. Please don't bring up negative feedback during the most insecure moment of a preacher's life!

Conclusion:

This blog seems very narcissistic and the product of a "selfie" culture. This may be true, but, ultimately, the main affirmation I want to hear is "Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant." Knowing that our sermons are making a difference, on this side of eternity, isn't just flattery though. It's confirmation that God is using us and changing lives. 

Please, encourage your pastor after he or she preaches. Your five seconds of kindness makes a huge difference and costs very little. 

QUESTION: What's holding you back from applying this every time you hear a sermon?

How to Get a Better Wife

As the Husband of an incredible wife, I want make life better for her. When she cries and mascara runs down her face (honey, you know you love my mascara jokes), I want to do anything I can to make it stop. Naturally, as a husband I will protect my wife when she faces danger, get her nice things to spoil her and take her on that dream vacation to show her a great time. Good husbands will do anything to make their wives better in any way possible--physically, emotionally and financially. Unfortunately, a lot of us husbands forget to help our loved ones with the most powerful tool we have--prayer. 

"I'm not going to let anybody pray for my wife more than me!"

-Pastor Tim Forsthoff

If you want the best for your wife, you need to pray for her. This last week I received a challenge to pray for my wife more than anybody on Earth. There are several things I don't want people to do for my wife more than me. I don't want people to win her heart, make her laugh or create babies with her more than me (especially creating babies). Prayer is incredibly powerful, intimate and effective. Through out the Bible we see prayer end droughts, raise the dead and shape nations. In my life, I've seen prayer directly protect me from death, change the lives of hundreds of thousands of people and heal the sick. Considering all these things, why would I let anybody pray for my wife more than me? This is my duty. My privilege.  I want to do everything I can to take care of my wife. As husbands, we need to war on behalf of our wives in the spiritual realm. Especially if things aren't as we know they should or could be, prayer is essential.  

What to Pray?  

It can feel overwhelming to start, so here are some of the topics I use to pray for my wife. 

Here are 7 Things I Pray For My Wife: 

1. Whatever God Wants. Ask God what He wants you to pray. He knows what she needs before your wife. 
2. Whatever She wants. Ask her. I'm sure she'll have a list for you.
3. Relationship with God. Pray she finds intimacy with God the Father and fresh fire for her Spiritual walk. Ask for her ears to hear clearly from the Lord. 
4. Purpose/Influence. Pray for her to walk in God's purpose for her life. Pray her influence is multiplied and her gifts and talents are used for God's Glory. 
5. Health. Pray her body is filled with life and life more abundantly.
6. Emotions. Pray for her emotions to be filled with joy, peace and balanced with great health.
7. Friendships. Pray for her to have strong friendships with people who celebrate her and she can be vulnerable with.

CONCLUSION:

Of course this is not an exhaustive list of prayers, but it will help you better your wife. In the Scriptures, Husbands are told to love their wives as Jesus loved the Church (Eph 5:25). What better way to love our wives than to be connected to God and fight on our loved one's behalf.

Husbands, don't let anybody pray for your wife more than you!

Question: What are other things a husband should pray?

The Bible Says Pluck Out Your Eyes

Matthew 18:8

8 “If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life lame or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet, to be cast into the everlasting fire. 9 And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire.

Recorded April 22, 2014

Ever read this verse, and wonder, "Is this for real?" 

The short answer is yes. As Christians, we are to radically deal with anything separating us from God. Sin is infectious. One small sin turns into several small sins. Several sins turns into a lifestyle and identity. Think of the worst act, crime or behaviour you can think of. A person does not become a mass murderer overnight. A series of choices and events lead up to a person committing horrible atrocities. 

A couple weeks ago, I stumbled upon this Biblical principle in the rock climbing community. 

The Video below contains instructions on "How to Cut Off Your Arm to Save Your Life." These climbers are willing to cut off parts of their bodies in order to save themselves. They realize that a stuck hand leads to their whole bodies dying.

In spiritual matters, also, the part affects the whole. This is the same advice Jesus gives us in the Scriptures. Cut off death to save a life. 

Whether it's an arm stuck in a rock, or a habit of lying, there are certain small decisions constantly determining our futures. A small sinful decision may seem as if makes little to no difference, but, like a hand stuck in a rock, it leads to death. 

What are the small decisions you are making? Will you cut off the sin in your life?

Now, does Jesus mean this literally or symbolically? I say symbolically. 

Can someone still lust without eyes? Absolutely. Plucking out the eye the doesn't completely solve the spiritual issues. Jesus deals with the heart.

That's why He says in Matthew 5:28, 

"But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

The audience would have known Jesus is speaking in Hyperbole. He didn't want people to literally and physically cut off their sin causing apendages. As we look through the lives of the disciples, we see none of them cut off all the sinning parts of their bodies.

Jesus used symbolism to express that Christians must radically deal with sin. 

Are you tolerating sin or making steps to cut it out of your life? What are those steps?

Are you current decisions leading to death or life?